Recently, when the wheel of the year turned and stitched all of the teachings of the seasons into one seamless narrative, it reminded me of those very first steps our family took through the doorway of the unknown.

We arrived to this new land synchronizing with the season of Autumn and its rustling beauty of shedding and release which amplified all we had been tumbling with for months previously.

Immigrating tugs at the taproot of your existence as it’s yanked from a comfortable nest and casts a vivid light onto that which lay clustered beneath the surface potentially stifling growth. Fears, insecurities, lack of trust, and all it is who you think you are and what it is you came here to do bubble to the surface as the root releases. Gnarly, stale belief systems and tangled perceptions that have sunk out of sight to the dark forgotten corners of comfort are brought to light as one is invited to contemplate the striking vastness of the unknown.

The medicine of our first Autumn here in Portugal was a serene tasting one of surrender as I was called to implement all of the tools that I had acquired and shared over the years. There was no place for the impotence of theory, only the deepening of practice as that which was released settled into their destiny to feed new earthen wintry roots.

Winter settled us deeper into the boggy marsh of questions as we moved to another temporary accommodation and it became clear that to gypsy about as a family activated differently in each of us. Martyn had done a fair share of it in his youth and was over it. I had done none of it in my youth and was open to it. Amira Sahar, being in her youth, was indifferent to it.

Feeling the delicate fabric of everyday life come undone in places stained with uncertainty, Winter invited us to look deeper within at the neglected storage of patterns, expectations, and projections that had contracted in our roots, particularly in relationships.

It’s a peculiar thing, a relationship, like those mirrors at a fairground attraction. At times you look eye-burstingly gorgeous, in others dusky and depressing, and then in some, weirdly odd and distorted in a sort of who-the-heck-are-you! sort of way.

The thing that they do do quite remarkably, is to reflect.

Having been in a marital relationship for over 2 decades, reflections and the memory of them, abound. Yet, the invitation is always to look beyond what may have been experienced in the past and to see that which is unfolding in the present moment with a fresh new honoring for what it is.

Uncomfortable?

Yes.

But possible

and essential.

Long-term relationships demand a deepening of awareness as there is more to release to truly be with what is, decades more. A bit of a tussle in discomfort, yes, but it carries the potential to bring the recurring drone of

“You always … ”
“I know you … ”
“Why don’t you ever … ” to a conscious halt as we embrace change without the expectancy that it somehow needs to be set in motion by the other.

Winter activated these uncomfortable teachings and the blessings arrived with the waters, rains from the heavenly skies, and tears from my inner pools. Liquid magic, it sought and found every thirsty rootlet within and plumped it with potential. Even though I had no idea or vision of what this potential looked like, I could feel its vibration ripening and that was enough.

Trusting it, we decided to follow the trees to the lands of abundant waters and journey north to another short-term rental on a farm.

It was here, with each marshy step in the surrounding mulch-laden forest that I felt deep resonance. It continually invited me to flow out of the mind stream of thought and into the streams of crystal clear mountain waters instead and to place my trust there, in the reflections of the Divine so tangibly felt in Nature.

Life soon responded with a lovely home in a beautiful village.

Initially, we held a vision to invest in land and to build a couple of tiny homes immersed in Nature sustainably. Close to flowing waters, we planned to grow our fruit and veggies and hoped for extra space to create a healing sanctuary in which to continue our commitment to offering the work of our hearts to the community.

But what presented effortlessly and speedily surprised us … a modern, spacious, on-grid, furnished rental and the invitation to focus my offerings on a cyber medium instead of creating a healing sanctuary in physical form.

Not what we had envisioned but perfect in so many ways.

This highlighted that the essential ingredient of the envisioning process is releasing the need to control and to hand it over to a greater force. To trust that you are called to places for good reason, “for God’s reason” as my beloved mum always says.

A Divine hand guides.

All of our boxes may not be ticked but hooray for that, the thought of boxing our potential is a ridiculous concept, to say the least, and here we are, settling into the welcoming folds of a second Winter in the north of Portugal.

This time, with my roots lovingly tendered, I feel the cold breeze dancing in the branches of my tree continually strengthening my core as the icy mountain waters invigorate. As my veggie garden rests and the earth regenerates and composts the roots of Autumn’s harvest, awareness
deepens.

Winter gifts me time to quietly observe and reflect upon the bounty of teachings of past seasons, of what flourished and what did not, of where the sun danced across the garden, and how long the water in the well lasted. Conversing with the earth, the worms, insects, trees, and the plants I seed, I regularly ask them what it is they need to flourish and at times, they even tell me what it is I need.

Often while tending the garden, an insight arrives to support a client in need or encouragement to offer prayer at that moment. I trust these messages wholeheartedly as I trust their Divine source. My garden is as much a part of their healing process, as it is mine, and essential on so many levels.

God’s Den.

From her belly, we have reaped bountiful butternuts, beans, tomatoes, salad, kale, sweet potatoes, spinach, herbs, passion flower, and lemons in a relatively short period as well as healing benefits for family and all I hold in prayer. She has wild parts and ordered rows, sections that are planned and others open to receive, parts in blossom and others in release and decay much like myself. As I am nurtured by her humble brilliance, listening with the heart, I commit to tending my own garden regularly and observe its ripple effect to others.

The absolute genius of Nature and her seasons has the capacity to dance through one with orchestral harmony.

Let her in and remain open to her hum and flow and allow yourself to be conducted by her underlying vast intelligence.

You and all those around you will flourish.