Once again, the energy of Death visits me in my dreamspace. This time she is accompanied by her close cousin, Dismemberment.
A mother exhausted by life and the burden she carries drifts wearily through an earthly space. Fatigued and forlorn, she notices 3 sandy graves in the distance. As she approaches, 3 children rise up from its depths and follow her wearing their graves upon their backs. Another grave lay alongside them. This one remains intact because the contents are beyond the point of resurrection having dissolved entirely to the land of Peace.
She leads the children further along the barren landscape and they follow confused by their resurrection yet trusting of her fragile leadership.
Suddenly, a beast of Behemoth proportion and intensity rises from beneath the sandy plains of the desert and stands before this woman. She trembles with fear thinking of the newly resurrected children and doubts her ability to protect them. As the monster roars, its malodorous breath creates ripples upon the face of the desert. The mother steps bravely in front of the children, shielding them from the monster’s ravenous stare.
It lunges at her.
Behemoth carries her away, gnawing at her flesh as it lopes off in the direction of the rising Sun. She screams, blood dripping down her emaciated legs. It releases her mangled form from its jaws and delivers her before a Queen who sits upon a throne of light. The Queen’s presence is strong and clear. She stares at the spectacle before her.
The woman, in the hope of grasping a nurturing, maternal thread in the queen, pleads for help. Her cries land vacantly upon the ears of this Queen who commands Behemoth to once again seize the woman in its jaws. She tries in vain to flee but is grabbed yet again, violently shaken and delivered with a mangled thud before the Queen.
This is repeated a few times until eventually her skin shreds and her chest tears apart to reveal a heart. A heart that habitually beats and functions like a wound up clockwork mechanism. It beats regularly and consistently but without soul. She shows the queen the state of her heart and begs for help feeling alone, unsupported and rejected. The Queen sits stoically in deep observation without gesture or movement.
Behemoth grabs the woman in its jaws once again but this time, the woman does not fight or plea, she surrenders to the journey of pending death. After the final ravaging, Behemoth deposits the remains of the woman gently at the feet of the Queen. She feels no pain but a gentle ocean of peace as she is laid before the queen. It finds its way to her eyes and streams down her cheeks onto the dry desert sand, creating thousands of tiny rivulets. These gain in momentum to form gushing streams, sufficiently copious and continuous and extensive lakes until eventually the ocean of peace within transforms the dry desert landscape into a ocean without.
In the distance she sees the 3 children, their graves now vessels keeping them afloat in a sea of possibilities.
The Queen kneels before the woman, who has become the source of this ocean and says … “Thank you dear sister for your Sacrifice, it is the debt you owe to Truth.“
I wake from this dream physically worn as the nights activities reflect in the stiffness of my limbs. The words of her Majesty lay hauntingly upon my brow as the nature of the beast , Behemoth still lingers in my field. As I settle to a place of meditation and centering, it is here that I am able to receive an interpretation of its teachings for Self.
Often I have spoken of truth, “express your truth”, “own your truth”, “be in your truth”. Admittedly, it has become a sort of new age buzz word for purpose and healing by encouraging an empowered stance for knowing oneself.
But what is Truth?
If your truth is different to mine but relevant to you, is this not an intellectual projection justifying our perceptions? And are our perceptions even true?
With this I start my day, surrendering to the great Mystery of Truth as previous understandings peel away. For there can only be one Truth and perhaps the debt I owe to its presence, is The Sacrifice of all it is I think I am and have defined myself to be as a result of my experiences upon this earthly plain.
May Truth shine through.
